Hope. Just a four letter word right? I use to think it was until that one year of my life when everything went wrong. I lost my grandfather, I got laid off from my job & my husband cheats on me, tells me he isn’t in love with me anymore and we should get a divorce. Talk about the lowest of the lows, oh wait it gets better. I had to move back in with my parents to save money & the soon to be ex-husband turns out not only did he cheat on me but he got the girl pregnant & they are going to get married once our divorce is final. How exciting right?
photo: jeremy bishop
Lets just say I wasn’t feeling too great about myself at this point. I remember the gut wrenching feeling I had in my stomach when I had to tell my family what was going on. What did I do wrong? Why were all these things happening to me. I felt completely & utterly alone. I remember sitting in my twin bed with all my belongings I could fit into my parents guest bedroom and just balling my eyes out. Only I was the guest and had no clue how long I would be staying. Hope never even entered my mind only desperation & despair. Sounds pretty pathetic right?
photo: pedro lastra
One day during my daily pity party I went into a restaurant and of all places in the ladies room I bumped into my ex’s friends wife. As we exchanged hellos both of us realized we were both going through the same thing. She was getting a divorce from her husband as well! This is when that four letter hope became something I could truly believe it. Their was hope for me, for my life and I didn’t have to feel alone any longer.
photo: irina blok
My friend and I started hanging out together meeting new people having fun and enjoying life. Hope started to appear more in the back of my mind and I just believed that there was something else out their for me. I was raised by parents who believed in hard work, honesty & integrity in everything you do in your life. We never talked about giving up or feeling sorry for yourself in our household. My parents moved our family to Florida when I was in high school & it no longer felt like home to me, I needed to go back to where I felt i belonged and that was New England. Could I do it, how would I do it?
photo: ben white
Florida had no job opportunities for me as a travel agent and I felt being away from where my ex husband lived would be an important fresh start. I hated the thought of leaving my parents. We had lived in the same state near each other my entire life. I started to search for jobs and sent off my resume to a headhunter. She arranged six interviews with different companies in Boston.I flew up for the interviews and had my fingers crossed. The head hunter called me the next day and said she had great news, five of the six companies offered me a job! How could this be, I felt so hopeless and not wanted in Florida but Boston loved me, they really loved me.
photo: jakob owens
I flew home, told my parents I was leaving Florida for good and in one week yes one week , packed up and left for Boston . I remember feeling excited, scared & a little sad. My parents dropped me off at the airport and before boarding the plane I went into the ladies room and balled my eyes out. I was going to miss my parents dearly but my intuition and I both knew I would not be back to live in Florida only to visit.
I realized Hope is more than a four letter word. Its about believing in something so strongly that you know it will happen without knowing the when. In today’s world where everything comes in an instant like our text messages, food delivery, online shopping you name it hope is something you need to carry with you and be patient because when you get to pull it out and cash it in its the best feeling in the world!
How has hope inspired your journey?
